I don’t like to make promises, because there is nothing certain about life. I cannot promise to kiss you every day of my life, because there will be times when we’re apart. I cannot promise to make it home for dinner every night, because there will be nights where I will have to work late. I cannot promise that we will grow old together, because death is even more unpredictable than life.
But these are the things I can promise:
I promise to love you with everything I have. I promise to love you fiercely and protectively and passionately and daily. I promise to be there for you when you need me, whether it be physically or emotionally. Love is an action, and I promise to wake up every day and choose to love you. I promise to do things that surprise you, because for all of my planning, I love spontaneity. I promise to try my hardest to make you laugh when you’re sad, because laughter is the best medicine. I promise to work for you and for our relationship, because nothing in life is ever handed to you on a silver platter. I promise to share household chores evenly, because we are equal partners. I promise to be the big spoon when you need it and let you know when it’s your turn to be the big spoon because I need it. I promise to wrap you in my arms and silently let you know that in that, I am wrapping you in my love, my soul, my heart. I promise to apologize when I hurt you, because that’s something I do when I’m afraid. I promise to always communicate openly with you, because if we don’t have honest conversation then we have nothing. I promise to respect and listen to your opinions even when they differ from mine. I promise to trust you, in a deeper sense than just me falling backwards into your arms. I promise to raise our future children with you in a way that will make us both proud.
In our life together, there will be struggles. There will be shouted arguments and slammed doors and angry tears and broken sobs and pounding headaches and so much pain. But in some ways, that’s more beautiful than the blissful times we’ll share, because how would we know happiness without anything to compare it to? And that kind of intense emotion is a result of passion and so much caring.
I’m not the easiest person to live with. I do a great number of things that if you do them I will want to punch you in the face. I’m a hypocrite. I can admit that. I won’t let you chew ice around me, but if I sit down next to you on the couch with a cup of ice and start chewing, I expect you to let me. I know that’s difficult.
Call me out on it.
Don’t let me get away with things because you’re afraid I’ll get angry. I will. That’s an inevitability. Don’t let me get away with that either. Call me out on my bullshit and tell me that my behavior is unacceptable; one day, I hope that if you tell me enough, it’ll change that behavior. One day, if you stick by me and you bear with me and you endure my awful actions, they’ll stop. There will be one thing more important to me than being right…